Cat shirts. Are these a thing now? I remember many winters of my grandmother bringing me thick, creamy hot cocoa steaming out from the top of a mug with a palm tree and the phrase “Florida is for lovers” pictured on it. I could smell the chocolaty goodness streaming out from the mug and passing ever so slightly into my nasal passages. Despite all of the warmth of the hot cocoa and of my grandmother’s smile, all I could concentrate on was the smug look of the cat holding a ball of yarn on the front of my grandmother’s cranberry colored sweater. Don’t get me wrong, it was adorable… for my grandmother to be wearing a sweater with a cat on it. Now that I’ve reached the ripe old age of twenty-two, I seem to notice more and more people wearing shirts with cats that are strikingly similar to the one who stared at me from the front side of my grandmother for much of my childhood. I now find myself asking the question, is it okay to wear things that my grandmother would pick out for me from a discount bin in the deep depths of the sale section in the Wal-Mart? Maybe it is? I mean… its 2014… If Miley Cyrus can prance around wearing nothing but red lipstick and a foam finger, why can’t I rock it grandma style? This got me to thinking, what is okay to wear these days? Are leg-warmers okay to wear? Are bowties okay to wear? Who decides this? Is there a super-secret society of trend experts who sit in their hidden office dug into the top of a mountain who have cameras set up throughout the world and send people out wearing the next biggest things, hoping for it to catch on? How do you get that job? Are you recruited by your excellent credentials of fashion sense? Or do they just randomly pull people off of the street, abduct them and force them to sit in a dingy basement reading the latest additions of GLAMOUR or Cosmo? I want to do that! Pick me! I’ll go Oprah on the whole world… YOU GET AN OVERSIZED SWEATER AND A PAIR OF LEGGINGS! YOU GET AN OVERSIZED SWEATER AND A PAIR OF LEGGINGS! EVERYBODY GETS AN OVERSIZED SWEATER AND A PAIR OF LEGGINGSSSSS!!
Is that still a thing? How does it change so quickly? I can’t keep up! You see someone wearing something one day, and when you wear it the very next day, people look at you like you have nine heads. How can others expect to be influenced by the “Top Ten Fashion Trends of Today” if they are completely obsolete tomorrow?
Yesterday I saw Cady Herring wearing army pants and flip-flops, so I bought army pants and flip-flops.
Well too bad girlfriend, because she’s moved on to skinny jeans and combat boots.
If I were dropped into our society today after being held hostage on an island somewhere with no connection whatsoever to pop culture with nothing to base my clothing style off of other than tabloids that are scattered throughout the check-out lines of grocery stores, how would I look going out into the world? I would probably be some weird hybrid of Katy Perry during her blue hair phase with Lorde’s black lipstick and whatever Lady Gaga decided to conjure up out of yesterday’s leftovers.