On the Mend and Finding Value in Myself

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I’ve had some heaviness on my heart lately. I haven’t been as willing to put my faith where it should be. But I choose today to start to repair; to put my heart back where it should be.

This is the reading I came across today:

This third time I am coming- to you. “On the testimony of two or three witnesses a fact shall be established.” I warned those who sinned earlier-and all the others, and I warn them now while absent, as I did when present on my second visit, that if I come again I will not be lenient,- since you are looking for proof of Christ speaking in me. He is not weak toward you but powerful in you. For indeed he was crucified out of weakness, but he lives by the power of God. So also we are weak in him, but toward you we shall live with him by the power of God.

Examine yourselves to see whether you are living in faith. Test yourselves. Do you not realize that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless, of course, you fail the test. I hope you will discover that we have not failed. But we pray to God that you may not do evil, not that we may appear to have passed the test but that you may do what is right, even though we may seem to have failed. For we cannot do anything against the truth, but only for the truth. For we rejoice when we are weak but you are strong. What we pray for is your improvement.

I am writing this while I am away, so that when I come I may not have to be severe in virtue of the authority that the Lord has given me to build up and not to tear down.

Finally, brothers, rejoice. Mend your ways, encourage one another, agree with one another, live in peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you.12Greet one another with a holy kiss. All the holy ones greet you.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ and the love of God and the fellowship of the holy Spirit be with all of you

2 Corinthians 13:1-13

As I was reading today’s scripture, I heard this loud and clear: “Finally, brothers, rejoice. Mend your ways, encourage one another, agree with one another, live in peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you.” 2 Cor. 13:11.

“Mend your ways.” A lot of the heaviness I’ve had is finding value in myself; finding my purpose in life.  I’ve been searching for validation in all the wrong places.  Whether it was the number on the scale, the amount of social media following I had, or the amount of money I had in the bank; I learned that I was never going to find the answer there.  “Mend your ways.” Start looking inside for your value.  “Mend your ways.”  Start looking to God to see that there is joy in every experience.  Every second that my heart is beating is a gift– a gift that I should rejoice in and be grateful for.  “Encourage one another, agree with one another.”  These are all lessons that can be applied to every second that our hearts are beating to make these experiences of life that much more joyful.

“Live in peace, and the God of love and peace will be with you.”

I take this reflection to pray for anyone who is searching for their own validation.  I pray that you choose to look inward, and to God.  You don’t need someone else to prove to you that you have value.  I pray that you already know you do.

Enjoy your day!

-Briana

Summer Goals

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Good morning!

So a few days ago I started a workout/healthy eating regimen with my sister.  She kicks butt and I wanted to do the same.  Anyways, I decided, for accountability purposes to create a list of goals and use social media to hold myself accountable within that platform each day.  I made a list of goals for the program:

  1. Build some muscle
  2. Build endurance (not only running, but in normal everyday activities like not getting winded walking up steps)
  3. Get my nutrition/ water intake in check and help my skin to clear up!
  4. Also maybe get some sun.

Yesterday, while I was in a “goal-list making” mood, I decided to write down some summer goals.  I started out okay with my first goal: Stick with workout/meal plan.

Perfect. I can do that. I already did 3 days.  How difficult can the next three months be? And, ideally, the habits will continue past that.

Goal #2: Show up for yourself.

This one hit somewhere deep in my gut. AKA, my goal list got real deep, real fast.

It’s easy to pick up a program or new project, (in my case a workout regimen), that gets you super motivated at first and then a few days/weeks/months later, you’re back to what you were doing before.  Life happens.  You skip a session to go to that thing you committed to a few weeks ago that you totally forgot about but you told so-and-so that you’d go.  Or you overslept because your bed was just really comfy and that new super soft blanket was just calling your name for another half hour instead of getting up and eating a real breakfast to replenish yourself.  Soon after, you realize you’re back to square one, the very place you were when you decided you needed a change.

Busy wives/mommas/sisters/friends etc.– We all have someone else we decide to show up for everyday.  How often do we show up to support ourselves?  At one point you were in a place where you felt as though you weren’t being your best.  A place where you said, “You know what? I’m going to do this thing! I’m strong and I need this to feel that strength!”  And you did it!  But what keeps you from continuing to do it?

Show up for yourself.

After a few other well thought-out goals, the list ended with the most important (at least for me).

Goal #5: Live with Purpose.

This has become less of a goal for me, but more a choice I make everyday.  I just need a gentle reminder sometimes.

Everything I say or do or think about saying or doing has to serve a purpose.  Don’t argue just to argue.  Don’t speak just to hear yourself talk.  While it is important to show up for yourself in your life everyday, it’s also important to be there for someone else.  Show up for yourself when you need it; Show up for those you care about when they need it.  Speak from your heart.  Take things as they come and find a way to create something from it.  Don’t let your circumstances dictate the way you know in your heart you want to respond.  Feel something for goodness sake.  Take that extra minute outside in the fresh air before walking into work and feel your purpose for being in this world.

(Okay, I’m done with the cliché list-making now). But you get the idea.

Love you all ❤

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Searching for Alignment

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57995768-A3C1-457B-9BD1-B08E3B257469.jpegWith the beginning of a new year, I looked to start anew. I have been working hard to strengthen myself spiritually and emotionally. Through all of my meditations, prayers, oils, and soul searching I thought I was really getting somewhere. Until the beginning of the year brought the loss of someone very close to me. This event was a true test for me to find peace in a devastating situation. Through the following weeks, I tried all of my usual ‘go-to’ methods for when I was feeling off. Long meditation sessions; not to mention the fact that my lavender and frankensence oil supply was quickly deminishing. All the things that ‘always work’ suddenly we’re leaving me at a loss. My days were filled with emotions which caused me fight back tears in the middle of the work day. Something just wasn’t right.

At work that evening, I was working to help a customer find a lost item. As I was assisting her, another customer came over in tears. She had lost an important piece of jewelry. She stated that it wasn’t valuable, just sentimental. While assisting the first customer, she decided to double check her purse for her lost item. All of a sudden, she reaches down into her purse to find a small silver ring wrapped in a stack of receipts. She held it up and the other customer burst into tears (a few were welling up in my eyes at that point too) when she realized it was what she had been missing. Right at that moment I looked at the clock to see 11:11.

Something shifted for me.

It was as though I went to the spiritual chiropractor. I felt elevated; a weight lifted from my chest, a much needed breath of fresh air.

Moral of the story: stop looking for alignment in your life. When you really need it, it’ll find you.

YOU Decide What’s Valid

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For every one of you who are working hard to keep your head up, to stay positive in situations that would normally bring you down; for everyone succeeding at this task, and for those who struggle here and there, I’m going to ask you to do something challenging for just a moment.

I’m going to ask you to think of a time when another person said something to you or about you that made you question your value.  Think of a time when someone said something about you that made you burn with anger while holding back tears of defeat.  A time when everything seemed to be going well and then this one person caused your entire energy to shift to a darker place.

Stay with me here.

What did they say that caused you to shift so drastically?  Was it about your appearance? Did they insult a project you’ve been working so hard on and completely rendered it invalid to them?  Or did they simply say something critical toward a portion of your life where you’ve worked through insecurities?

Okay, now that you have those negative feelings back in focus for just a second, take a step back.

Do YOU find validity in the statement that made you so upset? Is the statement that person made out of anger or impulse during a difficult situation for them ring true in YOUR mind?

If the answer is NO (spoiler alert, the answer is no), then you have already shifted back to your positive energy where you belong.

For example, working in customer service for so long, I’ve been called many things besides my name.  I’ve actually been impressed many times by how creative customers can be with their insults when they’re angry.  I used to let these outbursts get me down so quickly because I was putting all of my positive energy on the back burner by putting invalid truth into their statements, rather than keeping my own truths forward.

Remember this next time.

If there is no truth to a statement someone puts in front of you, give it the same attention you would give to someone telling you that the grass is purple (i.e. nonsense).

 

New year, high vibes.

-Briana

Good Vibes 101

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When’s the last time you sat down and thought about nothing? Like actually nothing… As in, listen to your breath and forget about what you should be doing, or that thing that happened yesterday. Have you ever actually taken the time to meditate? To feel yourself sitting in a chair with the energy and weight of the universe holding you in place, allowing your mind to feel the release from the everyday hustle.

For the past few weeks, I’ve been taking time out of my day to meditate.  I thought that starting rituals would increase my vibe for the day.  I wake up, drink my lemon/ginger tea, diffuse some oils, light the candle in my salt candle holder, and breathe.  This has done wonders for the way I approach my day.  But this morning was different.  I did all of the things I usually do, but my mood was guiding me toward something new.  I had the uncontrollable urge to throw on some vinyl and listed to music. After sifting through my box of records, I found the Fleetwood Mac album that I was gravitating toward.

As I started up the music, I had an equally irrepressible urge to let go and dance to the music; to feel Stevie Nicks’ voice radiating through my entire body.  It was liberating!

While my morning rituals do start me off with a good vibe for the day, I realized today that I had just been going through the motions.  I needed to deviate from my routine in order to find the breath of frankincense-filled air I was looking for.

Take some time out of your day to throw the proverbial wrench into your daily routine. Find something your soul is naturally gravitating toward and choose the path you wouldn’t normally take today. You never know what you’ll find.

If Nobody Told You… I Will.

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I sometimes have a small, stray thundercloud that follows me around.  It makes me act a little sad, a little impatient, and maybe a little angry at trivial things.  This thundercloud feeds on anxiety and apprehensiveness. It amplifies sadness and uncertainty.  It tends to rain on those around me who didn’t realize they needed an umbrella.  It floods my head with thoughts that are not my own, and sends residual uneasiness into the lives of those I care about the most. I really don’t want to feed the thundercloud any longer, but sometimes it’s easier to weather the storm than it is to reach through and try to find the sunshine.

Living with this storm is a challenge.  It’s the first thing that comes to mind in the morning, and the very thing that initiates sleepless nights.

Sound familiar?

If so- if you are feeling lonely, unworthy, or getting eaten alive by the hole that lives in the pit of your stomach, then hear me out.  If nobody told you today, I will.  I will put my arms around you and tell you what needs to be said.

You are worth it. You are valued. You are loved.

Don’t give up. There is sunshine behind the clouds.

Write that down and repeat it to yourself until you believe it.

Because it’s true.

Balancing Act

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For the past few years, I really thought my journey through this life was orbiting around service to others– Specifically by shifting my energy toward helping people be better in every situation.  During the work day, I would try to stay calm during stressful situations in order to keep a positive energy in the space.  I would remain understanding whenever other people were voicing their thoughts.  I tried to do everything I could to help others learn a lesson during every encounter.

Throughout this time, I tried my best to take my own energy by the reigns.  Through mediation, journaling, diffusing oils, and drinking A LOT of herbal tea, I have continued down my own path to self-realization.  While this journey takes a lifetime, the sooner I found solace within myself, the sooner I found life’s obstacles getting less and less relevant to my happiness.

However, I have started to see these two things clash here and there.  Sometimes I am talking to someone and no matter what I say or how I act, they are still so filled with negative energy that there is no stopping them.  It was really starting to throw me out of kilter.  This is when I made the decision to categorize these situations as they come.  It became: “If you are not serving me or using this situation to make yourself better or to help me become better, then Scram. Go away. Scat.”

I don’t mean treat everyone as they treat you initially because sometimes first impressions can be rocky.  You may want to reach out and shake somebody right off the bat (see Be Patient Please).  You will soon see whether or not this can become a teachable moment.  If you see a window to help make that person better, go for it; but if the windows and doors are bolted shut, then you’re better off trying the next house.

In Training

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During an easy four-mile, post-pasta dinner (last night) run this morning, I looked down at my half marathon shirt. On the left sleeve, it reads In Training.  I started to think to myself, what exactly am I In Training for?  Another 13.1 at the beginning of the year was the obvious answer.  However, there is so much more behind that.

I woke up on this chilly morning– bloated from a heavy dinner, not wanting to pull myself out of my warm bed.  My husband was going to meet a buddy at the gym, so I decided to make myself go against my wishes to spend my day off lounging around.  I walked into the gym, stepped on the treadmill, and started to run.

My legs started to burn and my hips tightened with every step.  Though with this muscle reaction came clarity.  Enter the love/hate relationship with running.  With the initial pain and discomfort comes a breath of fresh air.  Not only am I training for several races over the next few months, I am training my mind to accept the clarity and fresh air it needs to make it through the overwhelming times.  I am in training for patience;  I am training for persistence, and I am training for dedication to the things that make me happy despite the discomfort along the way.

 

“Because Why?”— Getting to the Root Of Your Problems

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Most of us are familiar with the ever popular “Because Why?” banter that often occurs during conversations with young children. No matter how deeply you try to explain something, they always want to know more. While it is flattering that they think we know all of the answers, their persistent curiosity can end up being slightly irritating after awhile. Why can’t they just accept a definite answer and move on with the day? A very interesting question— which leads me to another: Why do we only accept a definite answer and move on with the day? Getting to the root of your problems can be easier than you think.

Even the most positive, happy, and successful people have challenging days; the ones when you feel like you’re in a rut and you can’t find the way out. Now and then, challenging days can result in a bit of a bad mood.We’ve all been there— a bunch of silly “bad” things happen which lead you to feel frustrated. You then take it out on someone else, leading you to feel remorse because you realize the other person literally had nothing to do with your flat tire or that you spilled coffee all over your white shirt. These are the moments when we need to take a step back and channel our inner 4-year-old:

“I’m angry with you.” Because Why? “Because my day is ruined.” Because Why? “Because I was late to work.” Because Why? “Because I woke up late.” Because Why? Because I was up late.” Because Why? “Because I was searching online.” Because Why? “Because I was looking for other income options.” Because Why? “Because I’m living paycheck to paycheck and need some relief.”

Therefore, you’re angry because of your current financial situation, not because Bob in the cubicle next to you was tapping his pencil too loudly. Take the time to find the root of your problem as opposed to letting trivial things build up and create a massive breakdown that doesn’t result in addressing the real issue.